Wednesday, June 20, 2012

grandma's here

Some people say I should not be caring for young children but you know how some people are.  All right I did lose the four-year-old in Kohl's but I had to linger and finger those Jennifer Lopez sheets, they are to die for.  I had several clerks searching for the kid and they kept giving me dirty looks.  So I could not  remember what she was wearing, it was something sparkly, jeesh. Then a light bulb blinked and I knew just where the infant diva was and I zoomed over to the shoe department. There the little princess sat donning the pinkest, girliest, laciest tennies ever.  I do know my toddler.

And then we drove over to the pool and yes, the life guard did scramble down her chair in pursuit of my granddaughter but she really wasn't drowning, it just appeared that way.  She was sputtering and gasping but that's what she does when she's having a good time.  Christ, they're so fanatical about their jobs. And then I had to beat back the grandsons with water bombs, it's them or me, and I don't surrender easily and now the lifeguards are seriously watching me.

And who needs sunscreen, I didn't use it as a kid, why waste precious swimming time just to get slicked up.  I lost track of the amount of ice cream consumed.  It seemed easier to say yes than that other word.

As a grandparent I'm sadly lenient when it comes to the endless snacking and sugar overload that children demand.  I am not paying their dental bills so I say, keep'em happy, makes my job easier.  I once had a grandson walk off with a bar of margarine but I'm a butter face and I know the addiction, enjoy enjoy..

At last 5:00 and my daughter's silver van comes cruising in the driveway and I have completed my day's work and I will soon be delivered. The children  are somewhat smudgy and over stimulated and under napped and seriously sunburned but they're still alive and that's what's important.  My daughter is content in her ignorance and that's the way it will stay.

What can I say, my services are cheap.

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