Monday, April 29, 2013

april 29

And so another birthday. 61, not a milestone age but an age nonetheless. As I do every year I come up with a plan and when people ask me and they will, what did you do on your birthday, I will have something to tell them. Birthdays are public domain like committing a crime or getting married.  When you're having one people stomp all over your space, demand personal information and then judge you on your choices.  Even the young fellow who's nailing the new siding on our house yells happy birthday as I exit my car. The husband, once again has been his usual chatty self.

He takes me to a restaurant my parents took us on Friday nights many years ago for fish fries, a strange and unique Catholic mid-America tradition. We ate catfish, the queen of all fishes swimming in the Mississippi, a few blocks from my front door and we sat at long picnic tables with red-checkered table cloths. Today I order onion rings, they make big greasy ones and when I bite down the juice oozes into my mouth and dopamine floods my brain's pleasure regions. Later in the day I will continue this cycle at the movie theatre where I will order popcorn and pour three times my usual butter allowance on the kernels. Birthdays are all about fat and I will cave for those evolutionary urges in my brain that encouraged my early ancestors to consume as much of the stuff as possible.

I spent ninety minutes in the pool this morning atoning my sins I would commit later in the day and this winter I have swum longer and harder than any other winter. My thighs and upper arms are stronger, bigger and those arms look weird on my narrow-shouldered body. Kind of like Popeye's arms in reverse.

Some well-meaning persons have said they would like to spend money on me to mark the occasion and the only item I need is eversharp pencils for my crossword puzzles. So I tell them this and they kind of bend their necks and look sideways at me. I didn't get the eversharps but I did get other things I really don't need but like I said they are well-meaning.

I think I'm going to start spending more afternoons in taverns. It seems like a worthwhile thing to do at this advanced age.


Arizaphale said...

Oh you poor old bugger! :-D Time to hook up to the intravenous tequila and give the world the big middle finger I reckon! Hahaahahaaha. I have no idea what an eversharp pencil is but you ought to have some so if you email me your address I will oblige!
(PS everyone knows that food has no calories on your birthday)

dawn marie giegerich said...

Good lord I hope not, endless margaritas, shrimp scampi, shrimp alfredo linguini, breaded shrimp, salad with ping ball-sized clumps of bleu cheese, garlic cheddar biscuits, stuffed cheesy mushrooms with crab and lobster, clam chowder and caramel cheesecake, hello Red Lobster, good-by waistline.

Arizaphale said...

Oh God...I think I died and went to heaven....