Wednesday, February 27, 2013

leaving again

Leaving for San Diego this morning and I was in Jamaica just last week, my desperate expensive need for warm green weather. I am almost finished packing and the meat will go in last. Like any good Iowan visiting a former Iowan I will have frozen bratwurst and chuck roast in my baggage. You can't get good meat outside the Midwest, maybe Texas but they'll be seceding from the Union soon and then we'll have to pay import taxes on the stuff.  Hopefully, my luggage will not require additional screening but if it does some unsuspecting airline official will need to deal with those bloody animal parts.

I am sitting at O'Hare pushing slimy vegetables and rice around a styrofoam dish. I usually don't eat Asian in airports because it tends to be too shiny, an overload of cornstarch and water.  Flying retards my digestion so I avoid those Beach Burritos and giant Nathan hot dogs. All that carnivore mange would do a tango in my belly and the poor slobs surrounding my plane seat would pay the price.

I am watching a young matron and the toddler is attached to her by a long purple leash and the kid looks oppressed. There is a furry brown monkey toy where the leash attaches to his back but it is still a leash, you insensitive barbaric cretin of a parent.

There seem to be an abnormal amount of young children booked on this flight and why aren't they sitting in some classroom. This whole home school thing is just getting out of hand.

Husband actually looked glad to see me go. I don't blame him, into his third month of retirement and I scream hari-kari at his balled-up napkin on my kitchen counter, my solitude seriously compromised. Look upon me gently dear reader, there is an intruder in my home.


MrDaveyGie said...

...are you involved in drug trafficing or something...???

dawn marie giegerich said...

Check out my next blog and you will have my answer, extreme cyclist bro.

Arizaphale said...

Balled up napkin? Spare a thought for me and the husband who leaves his half smoked cigars lodged in any crevice he can find: window sill, picnic table....and that's outside! The other day I unmade the bed and an unsmoked cigarillo turned up amongst the sheets and quiltcovers!!!!!!