Monday, November 19, 2012

careful, Boots

It is 4:05 in the morning and sleep eludes me, obviously. Last night I drank a half gallon of salty oily syrupy crap attempting to cleanse my digestive tract for my date with the colon doc.  I accept the fact that in a very short time a two foot tube will be inserted in a place where nothing should ever be inserted but I'd just rather it not happen so early in the morning.  I am on a medically prescribed starvation diet to keep myself clean and pristine for the man in white and I am not accustomed to denying myself.

No food all day leaves me lightheaded and crabby.  But I'm feeling better than I look which is often the case these days and I'm still riding high on the Obama wave. I can now sit back and coast for another four years. Whenever a Republican is in office I feel the need to stay alert and owl-eyed in case of a nuclear retaliation or a sudden rise in social worker suicides which is often the case in that kind of administration.

Mornings are not my best time. I prefer to stay asleep as long as possible before meeting the confrontations and humiliations of the day. All I can think about is Gomer's Pickle Barrel sub shop just across the street from the hospital where my procedure is scheduled.  They whip together a mean marinara meatball sandwich and that is where I will be once they allow me to put my pants back on.

At my lowest point I think about checking you tube for some really blatant image shots of the upcoming procedure. I try not to peruse that website too often as it has a way of spiraling out of control.  I need to monitor my four year-old granddaughter's usage as some really warped individuals will slip in a Dora video with the little senorita spouting profanity and making lewd gestures towards Boots, her monkey companion. It's enough to make you want to gather your clan together and escape into the mountains to raise goats or something.

1 comment:

Arizaphale said...

I hear ya on the you tube thing. Hope the other tube thing went (in and out) ok...