Big Dave volunteered at a local Renaissance Fair, oh sorry, Faire. I myself would not do these events. Fat men in tights are offensive on all levels and the activities they pursue while wearing them are equally offensive. These guys are embarrassing to their children and their dogs and yet they believe they are artistically inspiring to all the innocent people at the park just trying to have a good time.
I arrive at the Faire to pick up the fair Dave and am greeted by a woman in a crimson fiery dress with bells at the hem and sequined feathers in her hair. She waves at me, a large turkey leg in one paw and and I sigh. I don't have the energy to pretend I'm interested or entertained, get thee away scary damsel.
I only like two groups of people, Tibetan monks and skateboard dudes. Granted, they are similar, most notably a steadfast devotion to their trade and they both like to wear orange. Skateboard dudes are young and sleekly slender, emphasis on slender, a segment of our population that is fast becoming extinct in my part of the world. I like looking at healthy people, they are less apt to fall at my feet and require chest compressions. I'm good for about seventeen and then you're on your own, chump, you shouldn't have had the double cheeseburger. But, I digress.
Whether they are on the board or not the dudes exude an unworldly gracefulness. They move with the fluidity of swallows dipping and diving and they maintain that agile physical focus even while standing in line to buy gum. I especially admire the attitude, the quintessential sublime essence of aloofness. They don't require any human companionship other than their cohorts. They are not part of the population, they are the exception to the population. In a word they are cool.
Perhaps in my next life I will come back as a skateboard person or a Tibetan monk. Either way I will be happy and fulfilled. I know one thing. I will be born into my new existence with an intact revulsion to Renaissance Faire people wherever they proliferate.
I arrive at the Faire to pick up the fair Dave and am greeted by a woman in a crimson fiery dress with bells at the hem and sequined feathers in her hair. She waves at me, a large turkey leg in one paw and and I sigh. I don't have the energy to pretend I'm interested or entertained, get thee away scary damsel.
I only like two groups of people, Tibetan monks and skateboard dudes. Granted, they are similar, most notably a steadfast devotion to their trade and they both like to wear orange. Skateboard dudes are young and sleekly slender, emphasis on slender, a segment of our population that is fast becoming extinct in my part of the world. I like looking at healthy people, they are less apt to fall at my feet and require chest compressions. I'm good for about seventeen and then you're on your own, chump, you shouldn't have had the double cheeseburger. But, I digress.
Whether they are on the board or not the dudes exude an unworldly gracefulness. They move with the fluidity of swallows dipping and diving and they maintain that agile physical focus even while standing in line to buy gum. I especially admire the attitude, the quintessential sublime essence of aloofness. They don't require any human companionship other than their cohorts. They are not part of the population, they are the exception to the population. In a word they are cool.
Perhaps in my next life I will come back as a skateboard person or a Tibetan monk. Either way I will be happy and fulfilled. I know one thing. I will be born into my new existence with an intact revulsion to Renaissance Faire people wherever they proliferate.
1 comment:
Essence of aloofness? Its probably all the weed they smoke, lol. I myself find them irritating as all hell; especially when they are boarding in the middle of the street and act as if they own it and it will be my ass if I hit one of them. And thats just the Tibetan monks.
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