The noise is head-splitting and any shred of humane behavior I may want to exhibit has left the room. I need to relax so I concentrate on my breathing, in and out, I imagine a Zen-like setting, a chair on the beach, looking up into the branches of an oak tree. I live in a townhouse next to the Franciscan mother house, on the same street as a nursing home and two senior citizen complexes. In short, I am surrounded by old, sick and dying people and I love it. These are quiet, unobtrusive, slow-moving citizens and this is what I want in my neighborhood.
And then this idiot and his Harley moved across from me and every morning he revs that blasted hog like a huge animal practicing its roar and I want to throw a brick at him and cram peanut butter up those pipes. There would be a reason we live here and it's called quiet, can you hear me now?
Oh, there's more. Sonny is pumped up on prednisone, the drug they give you when nothing else works. The prescription lasts for only six days but the myriad of side effects seems endless in the duration. You don't sleep on the little white pill and you can't stop talking so you have this tired, red-eyed unfortunate sitting across from you at the supper table prattling about WWI statistics, the anatomy of a B-29 and how to calculate a farenheit temperature to celsius, in short, totally useless and unsolicited information. Your chicken white bean chili is growing cold but now you know to multiply by 5/9 to get that celcius digit.
And did I mention I'm having a colonoscopy? Do you want me to mention I'm having a colonoscopy? I love my gastroenterologist. I have a lot of respect for someone who goes into a profession with a name few people can spell much less pronounce. My man is all of 5'4" and he plays Queen CDs during the procedure. And wait, there's more, he is a published mystery novel author, what's not to love? And he does admire my colon exclaiming about the healthy pink folds and glistening tissue. Gotta love a guy so passionate about his work and my colon. And it's lovely hearing "We-e-e are the champions" when coming out of an anesthetic.
Did I mention my toenails are falling off?
And then this idiot and his Harley moved across from me and every morning he revs that blasted hog like a huge animal practicing its roar and I want to throw a brick at him and cram peanut butter up those pipes. There would be a reason we live here and it's called quiet, can you hear me now?
Oh, there's more. Sonny is pumped up on prednisone, the drug they give you when nothing else works. The prescription lasts for only six days but the myriad of side effects seems endless in the duration. You don't sleep on the little white pill and you can't stop talking so you have this tired, red-eyed unfortunate sitting across from you at the supper table prattling about WWI statistics, the anatomy of a B-29 and how to calculate a farenheit temperature to celsius, in short, totally useless and unsolicited information. Your chicken white bean chili is growing cold but now you know to multiply by 5/9 to get that celcius digit.
And did I mention I'm having a colonoscopy? Do you want me to mention I'm having a colonoscopy? I love my gastroenterologist. I have a lot of respect for someone who goes into a profession with a name few people can spell much less pronounce. My man is all of 5'4" and he plays Queen CDs during the procedure. And wait, there's more, he is a published mystery novel author, what's not to love? And he does admire my colon exclaiming about the healthy pink folds and glistening tissue. Gotta love a guy so passionate about his work and my colon. And it's lovely hearing "We-e-e are the champions" when coming out of an anesthetic.
Did I mention my toenails are falling off?
1 comment:
Sonny and Marie fought the commnity for months to have a clothesline but then they let this idiot and his Harley in? I would talk to the board. Seriously. Still can't figure out how come ya get a ticket if you don't have a muffler but then they let these idiots blast thru the streets spoiling what little bit of quiet is left in the this frenetic world.
I will now step down from my soapbox.
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