high school french

Questions I need to ask myself before embarking on the London-Paris trip:

• can I fit a liter size bottle of Kessler's in my backpack?
• should I leave my Iowa t-shirts behind and pretend I'm from Canada?
• do I really want to drink warm beer?
• I'm okay on sharing a bathroom at the hostel but whom am I sharing with, refugees from a small third world country who herd goats and live in tents in desert climes and poop in holes?  Okay, they might be interesting . . .
• can I really go three weeks without a decent ham and cheese omelet?
• will pinterest be available in the UK?
• will my husband and father still be alive on my return or will they die a languishing hoarder's death amidst towering piles of junk mail and styrofoam food containers?
• will the customs people eye me strangely when 17 double rolls of extra-strength Charmin roll out of my bag?
• can I deal with my own body odor and that of my son's and the goat herders for days on end?
• do I have to eat fish and chips and do I have to eat them with malt vinegar?
• where can I find fishnet stockings for my first stroll down the Champs Elysees?
• should I ditch my hello kitty around the neck passport holder?
• and lastly, uh, okay I guess that was it.  Was hoping for a much bigger finish.