the last of the holiday revelers

As of today the last of the holiday revelers will be on my doorstep expecting a hearty meal and strong ale and then they will leave and I will lock the door and the season will be officially over.  Why so long a Christmas holiday?  Too many relatives, I suppose and they just never stop wanting to hug me and pat me on the back and ask, oooh what smells so good?  If the phone rings and today's intended guest says a child is sick, the dog got diarrhea or they have to make some soup, there will be no return invitation.  We are done with you and don't bother coming by for the presents.  That would mean I need to have crackers and cheese or some such thing on hand. Those wrapped boxes will be on your front porch with the newspaper and your dehydrated Halloween pumpkin.

If it were up to me I would have all the combined clans of my multiple families meet at McDonald's on the Thursday before Christmas for egg mcmuffins and I would spring for the peppermint mocha.  The place has lots of wastebaskets for the wrapping paper and don't forget about the playland area. The whole event would take about an hour and then we would climb in our cars with our bucket-sized diet Cokes and the new matching towel and washcloth gift sets and we would return to our quiet clean guestless homes.

I enjoy the idea of Christmas more than the day itself.  I like the glittery sparkly cards and cherry red ornaments on my tree. The holiday music takes me back to a long ago time, egg-sized lights on a real tree, my mother in a homemade apron decorated with felt tree cut-outs.  And I can't forget the sugary cookies, the Homer Simpson Santa Claus talking dolls, the tolerance for more alcohol consumption.  I like that it's old and the biblical quotations describing the birth and the wonderment in that ancient time brings tears to my eyes, imagine that and I have no idea why.

So now I have to figure out should I keep a candle with real cranberries embedded in it or how about the garlic press shaped like an armadillo. It's an amazing thing, Christmas, and we tolerate and are absorbed by it, God bless us everyone.