me and the therapists

I was raised by Sonny who believes everyone should pull themselves up by their bootstraps although none of us have straps on our boots. He can be an old cold turd but he never found himself in the throes of a full blown postpartum depression with three small children and all my friends away at school.  The doctor who diagnosed me back in the 70's called it the housewife syndrome and prescribed  Valium, hello Valley of the Dolls. I took a couple and felt the same as I did drinking beer so I didn't see the point and the pills went down the toilet..

The next doctor zonked me out on Wellbutrin  and I told my husband to tie a string around my ankle so he could pull me down from the ceiling each night, his little wife high as any hippie stoner. I changed doctors and meds and got a little counseling this time although the new doc kept calling me Sandy.  He asked what things I liked to do and I rattled off reading, gardening, swimming, hiking.  Alarmed he responded, but those are all solitary activities. He then proceeded to tell me how he and his wife looked forward to Sundays because they would make a game out of who could pick up the most dog turds in their back yard.

About this time I went back to school, left my husband and that counselor and got a job. And after nine years I found myself  in a relationship with another jerk and back on the couch again. I knew I was in trouble when the new counselor opened his calendar book and there were Biblical sayings on each little square.

I dumped those chumps and now Big Dave sits at my dinner table every night but I am still making appointments.  Dave has PTSD thanks to a purposeless war and I just don't like being married even if it is the logical place for me right now.  I need some adjustment cues and I think I'm going to like Laurie, the new therapist on the block.  She is a self-named loner married to a neurotic doctor.  At first I thought she was too perky, I don't do perky and I was irritated by the "what the hecks" and "gosh darns" that peppered her conversation, but I got over it. I just might stick around for more than two sessions.